what we say to clients...

Para um amigo em forma de agradecimento por me ter enviado um livro. 

...and what we really mean.
-"We'll certainly consider that"
-Don't make me laugh!

"There is a major opportunity"
We need your money

"Our advice to you"
Our invoice to you

"That's a good point, but..."
I've heard some rubbish in my time...

"We've been thinking"
Because you obviously haven't

"There's a lot of support for this concept"
This is our only concept

"May I make a suggestion"
Do this or you're neck deep in shit

"That's a challenging brief"
What the FUCK do you mean?

"We'll need to visit the factory"
We know you have a factory in Hawaii

"We won't need to visit the factory"
We know you have a factory in Siberia.

"This is award-winning work"
You won't understand this

"We've taken a radical approach"
We gave this job to students

"We'd like to challenge your brief"
We haven't done the work yet

"We've done a lot of analysis"
The invoice is bigger than you expected

"We've had a breakthrough with your product"
You won't recognise anything you're about to see

"Our creative director worked on this"
If you don't buy it, you can tell him.

"We're going to do a sketchbook presentation"
We scribbled this down in the lift on the way up

"We've done some very sketchy thinking"
We worked on the wrong brief

"We had three teams working on this."
Our presentation is very confused

"I can sense your excitement"
Hello, is anybody home?

"You've given us a lot to think about"
You've completely change the brief... Ass hole!

"We'll go away and refine these concepts"
Shit! We'll start from scratch...

Fonte: Adland