Normal People vs Matt Berninger:

Normal people: I love you
Matt Berninger: you know you have a permanent piece of my medium-sized American heart

Normal people: I'm feeling good
Matt Berninger: I'm a birthday candle in a circle of black girls

Normal people: growing up sucks
Matt Berninger: another uninnocent, elegant fall into the unmagnificent lives of adults

Normal people: do you miss me?
Matt Berninger: am I the one you think about when you're sitting in your fainting chair drinking pink rabbits?

Normal people: I look good
Matt Berninger: I'm a perfect piece of ass

Normal people: my life is falling apart
Matt Berninger: this isn't working, you, my middlebrow fuck-up

Normal people: I'm drunk
Matt Berninger: I'm on a bloodbuzz

Normal people: I'm afraid I'll end up hurting you
Matt Berninger: I was afraid I'd eat your brains 'cause I'm evil 

Normal people: you're my dream girl
Matt Berninger: you know I dreamed about you for 29 years before I saw you

Normal people: I was busy
Matt Berninger: I'm sorry I missed you, I had a secret meeting in the basement of my brain

Normal people: I'm not very interesting
Matt Berninger: when I walk into a room I do not light it up... fuck

(Roubado daqui)